Never Again - Shepard x Tali

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Title: Never Again - Shepard x Tali

Author: ponydesigner

Game: Mass Effect 3

Characters/Pairing: Commander Shepard, Tali'Zorah, Daro'Xen, James Vega, Jaycob Tailor, Kasumi Goto, The Catalyst

Disclaimer:Characters and universe belong to Bioware

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[Shipping/Angst]

As he made his last steps, walking away from the little boy known as the Catalyst and headed towards the middle, the choice called 'Synthesis', flashes of his adventure started popping up. His first crew, how it was scattered by the Collectors, his reunion, his feelings for Tali. Not everything in that war was for nothing. At least, Shepard thought, Tali now has Rannoch back. She can build that home she always wanted. Shepard paused and kept still for a while as he gazed left and right, looking at all the mayhem that was happening around him. No more killing. No more conflict between tribes. Those were Shepard's last thoughts. He started sprinting towards the beam of light and jumped inside. As he felt his life drifting away and his body disintergrating into pure energy, all he could think of and see was that picture that sat next to his bed, back at his cabin. The picture of the beautiful Quarian he wished to spend his life with. 

It had been two months after the war and it seemed as if nothing had ever happened. Entire cities that had been demolished had been rebuilt, even renovated. Earth was gorgeous once again. The Quarians and the Geth had no conflict between them anymore. The Geth, to show gratitude, had prepared a vacine that boosted the Quarian's immune systems permanently. No strings attached. Palaven, like Earth, had been restored as well. Garrus looked at the mountains that stretched across Palaven. He slowly removed his scope gear and looked at it. 

"So, is this retirement? Looks a bit boring if you ask me." he said to the emptyness of nature.

Tuchanka had grown a lot as a planet after the war. It was full of vegetation and the Krogan had gotten more 'artistic'. They had built temples with gorgeous glyphs on the walls. Wreav had given up on his revenge. He now cared for his tribe. There were no different pacts anymore. Dimocracy existed between the Krogan now. However, old habits die hard and Grunt is the one to never forget that. He always has an urge to hunt every now and then. He calls it 'sport'.

Thessia was restored. The Banshee's attitude changed. They became more friendly and behaved just like the Asari. Together, Banshee and Asari rebuilt Thessia and restored its magnifiscent culture. Liara gave up on her Shadow Broker position and shut it down entirely. She still kept Glyph however. She thought it was time she finally set down, maybe find love, get married. Now it's your time to complete your share of the deal, Mr Vas Normandy. she thought with a giggle and a sourness in her thoughts at the same time.

----

Shepard slowly opened his eyes to find that he lied down on his back. He got up with slight ease and looked at himself. All the bruises, the cuts, the were gone. There was only him and his fractured N7 armor. He looked around. There was nothing in plain sight, only white. He could see something in the distance. Shepard walked towards the figure to see what looked like a hologram. It was the Catalyst. Shepard looked with wonder but soon his curiosity left. 

"So, is this 'Heaven'? Looks bland." Shepard said with some disappointment.

"Actually..." said the Catalyst and paused for a while.

Shepard looked at him. There was something keeping him back from speaking. Shepard kneeled and put his hand on the Catalyst's shoulder.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Shepard asked.

"You chose to save the Reapers and the organics. Why?"

Shepard gave a weak smile and stood up again. He gave out a small chuckle.

"Well, you said that I could control the Reapers or destroy them. I would only betray my friends if I decided to control them. I would continue the cycle and eventually, I would have to kill people to restore the chaos that would occur. Destroying them on the other hand would only show the barbaric nature of us organics. Nobody in this galaxy is a murderer and they know it deep within. So, I wanted the best for both of them, synthetics and organics. Even if it meant sacrificing myself."

"So you put your personal desires aside to save trillions? Didn't you have any loved ones?"

There was a moment of silence. Shepard sat down and looked at the distance.

"There...there was a Quarian I met back when I first became a Spectre. Her name was Tali. Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya. She was at her Pilgrimage back when I first met her. Soon, she had joined my squad and, although you may find it awkward, I thought she was special. It's funny right? A Spectre to have feelings for one of his crew? And I'm sitting here talking about it with a boy." he said with a chuckle in the end.

Shepard turned his look at the Catalyst to see that he had sat down as well and he seemed like he wanted to hear more of his story. Shepard gave another weak smile and looked forward again.

"After we defeated your first Reaper, Sovereign, everything went just fine. Yet I didn't have the guts to go talk to her. Before I know it, the Collectors attack and I...die. I died knowing that my life had no meaning. I died trying to breathe. But it wasn't over just yet. Cerberus, a criminal organisation brought me back, gave me a new purpose. Aboard the new Normandy, I met new allies, new friends, old ones as well. Then I found Tali again. She had changed a lot but she was still the Tali I knew. Once she came with me in my fight against the Collectors, Kelly Chambers told me how Tali felt for me. I...was speechless, to say the least. That time however, I didn't back off. I told her my feelings about her and, she felt the same way. After the Collector threat and when the Reapers arrived, I had plans to make her happy. Once the war would be over, I would build her a house on Rannoch, her homeworld, and ask her to marry me. In the end, I put my feelings behind everyone else."

Shepard looked down and stopped talking. He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. The Catalyst looked at Shepard, completely speechless. He got up and looked at the void, just like Sheprd did a while ago.

"If only I could say I loved her too." Shepard said as he raised his head, "Back at Rannoch, she said she loved me. I only replied by saying 'Keelah Se'Lai'. I'm such a fool."

There was yet another moment of silence between the Commander and the little boy.

"Then why don't you go and tell her?" the Catalyst asked him.

Shepard turned to him and looked in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked with suspicion.

"Shepard, of all the cycles I've started and ended, there was never anyone with the determination that you have. You stood up against the Reapers, even though your chances of success were very little. I don't normally do this but...do you want to live again?"

Shepard looked once again in wonder at the Catalyst.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you cared a lot about that Quarian...Tali. Showing such courage and even sparing my creations, you have relieved me of my task: of creating a new cycle. Since you were turned into energy, I can connect the particles once again and recreate you just as you were before, when we first met."

Shepard looked in shock and amazement. He couldn't help himself. He covered his eyes with one of his hands. His mouth started slightly shaking. The Catalyst could hear Shepard moan. 

"Why are you crying Shepard? Are you sad?"

"No, it's just...Thank you." Shepard replied as he wiped his tears with his hand and pulled himself together.

"Note that, when you leave this place, you will never see me again, no one will."

Shepard approached the Catalyst and gave him a small hug. He closed his eyes and wispered to the Catalyst: I will always remember you. 

Shepard's vision was blurry. His ears were shut and all he could hear was a monotonous sound coming from a machine next to him. Shepard closed his eyes and opened them again after a while. His vision seemed better. He looked around. As he raised himself, he realised that he was in a hospital. His head felt heavy. As he felt it with his hand, he could feel something wrapped around his forehead. Bandages. Shepard gave a sigh of relief and smiled to himself. He lied back and looked outside of the window, at the beautiful fauna that coexisted with the buildings. Shepard didn't feel like he was in pain. He got up and picked a pair of clothes that were lying in the chair next to the bed. After he was fully dressed, he checked out of the hospital and walked out, at a new world. Shepard checked his omni-tool. It didn't seem damaged and there still were some credits in there, enough to sustain him for a couple of years.

"Now, about Vega..." Shepard said to himself and used his omni-tool to contact James Vega.

----

After catching a ride, Shepard arrived at the sunny Rio. It seemed like a retired man's paradise here. That's why Jacob likes it a lot. he thought to himself. He walked his way to the bar, admiring the beauty around him. Souvenir shops, restaurants, everything. Everyone seemed so happy. Shepard had lost the sense of time and didn't realise he had reached the bar already. Like Rio itself, it was very colourful and vibrant. As he stepped inside, he could hear wonderful and lively beats in his ears. He immediately found the table he was looking for where Jaboc, James and Kasumi were sitting. As they saw Shepard, they looked in awe to see their Commander live.

"So James...I recall you saying something back at Purgatory..."

James only looked at him with a smile and ordered drinks for the four of them. As they drank their alchohol, they found time to catch up. James had joined the N7 program and Jacob got engaged. Although Kasumi was heart-broken at first, she quickly forgot it after a couple more shots. All four of them had a great time. After their great night, Shepard found a cheap motel to crash for a night, just to get over the drinks.

As the sun rose in the sunny Rio, Shepard had only one more priority. And he knew exactly how to accomplish it. 

"C-Commander?! Is that...you?!"

"Good to hear from you too Joker. Hey, you still got the Normandy?" Shepard asked Joker via omni-tool.

"Of course Commander. Just tell me where you are and I'll be sure to pick you up."

"I hope I'm not asking for too much if I tell you I'm in Rio. And Joker..."

"Hm?"

"It's Shepard." he ended.

----

It felt good to be aboard the Normady again. It seemed like yesterday for Shepard when he first stepped in this 'girl', as Joker would call the ship. As the Normandy flew to its destination, Shepard had time to catch up with his best pilot. Turns out that him and EDI got in a relationship. And, as Joker said it: "It's all 'cause of you Shepard." EDI was glad to be with Joker as well. While on the way, they would flatter each other every now and then. Shepard was surprised to see these two laughing together. He could remember the humble beginning, when they first met. Joker was completely irritated by her presence. And Shepard thought that such twists happen only in movies. He laughed.

----

The Normandy had reached its destination: Rannoch. Shepard smiled to himself. Rannoch had changed drastically since he last saw it. There were so many Quarians and Geth that it seemed impossible to find her. Shepard took a deep breath and stepped out of the ship. He waved Joker goodbye and blended with the crowd of Quarians and Geth. As he walked inside the crowd, he started thinking of ways to find her. Soon, his mind went blank and he started panicking inside of him. What to say, how to react, how will she react, will she accept him? So many questions made Shepard anxious. He found a bench and sat as he took deep breaths, trying to concentrate. Luckily for him, it was easy to stand out. Quarians were still wearing their helmets. Shepard saw a geth sit in the same bench and seized an opportunity.

"Excuse me, is there any possibility you know Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch?" he asked anxiously.

The geth civilian looked at him for a while before he replied.

"I can see you are human." he said with his robotic voice, "Sorry, but I can't help."

Shepard sighed to himself and got up. He roamed around for a couple of hours but at least he had found a way to pass the time. He stopped to admire some shops, maybe enter in one of them from time to time. He was only a bystander. He just looked at the beautiful outfits and clothes, as well as small sculptures of their culture, probably for tourists. Rannoch was indeed a beauty. 

After a 'shopping spree', Shepard carried on walking when, accidentally, he bumped into a Quarian, making the Quarian lose his balance. Shepard's reflexes were sharp and grabbed the Quarian before he could fall. 

"T-Thank you visitor." said the Quarian, still in a minor shock. "Daro'Xen." 

"Xen? Admiral Xen?" asked Shepard in surprise.

"Ex-Admiral to be honest. H-Have we met before?"

"I thought you'd remember the one that got back Rannoch."

Daro'Xen looked at Shepard in surprise. 

"C-Commander Shepard?"

"Ex-Commander to be honest." Shepard said and nodded. 

Daro'Xen seemed excited behind that helmet. She seemed as if she would fall on him and hug him tight but she kept herself back. After that small introduction, they shook hands.

"It's such an honor to see you again Commander Shepard," she said with excitement, "But may I ask, why are you on Rannoch?"

"I think you know why."

"Oh," said Xen, "Luckily for you, she's not too far. She's in the Suburbs. She owes a house there. I'll just give you the coordinates. That's easier, right?"

Shepard thanked Daro'Xen and made a run for the Suburbs.

----

The Suburbs were astonishing. Shepard walked through gorgeous gardens and looked at the plains that stretched as far as the eye could see. Shepard roamed around for a while as he got lost in the beauty of the place. There were less houses here and more fauna, unlike the city he was previously at. After following the indications of his omni-tool, he finally found that small house. At the side, there was a small garden. There were no fences around it, which seemed surprising. Shepard walked towards the house and, as he got closer, he could see a Quarian tending to her garden. She seemed devoted to it and could hear her talk to the plants as well. Shepard tried not to shock the Quarian. He was only a few steps away from the garden. He put his hands in his pockets as he could feel his anxiety rising. 

"I never imagined you working in the garden. You always seem to surprise me." he said.

The Quarian raised her head in surprise and quickly turned around. Behind that mask, her eyes were wide open and her expression seemed as if she saw a ghost. Tali immediately got up and ran towards Shepard, hugging him as tightly as she could. Shepard could hear her moan. Shepard hugged her back tightly as well and closed his eyes. After a pause, he moved away from her and took off her hoodie and her mask, revealing her face and her long, dark hair. Her mouth was shaking and her eyes were pouring tears down her cheeks. 

"Sh-Shepard...It's...it's r-really you." she said with a cracked voice. 

Shepard looked deep into her eyes. He gently wiped her tears with his hand and slowly approached her, pressing his lips on hers in a passionate kiss. Tali closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back with passion. Shepard felt his heart firing up and pumping really fast. Everything around them seemed to have stopped moving and seconds seemed like hours. Shepard moved his lips away and gave her a weak smile. The Quarian put her head on his chest and felt his heart pump.

"Shepard, please...never leave me again." said Tali.

"Never again...marshmallow."